Chant Down Babylon

"It is better to die on your feet than live on your knees" but the funny thing is that you die anyway, so you might as well make the best of the time you have, wherever you are and whatever life throws at you. Everyone always complains that being different makes the world too complicated. But if everyone were the same, we'd complain that we were too bored and the world would be screwed up anyway.I'm different, and I don't play by anyone's rules but my own. Lead, follow, or get out of the way.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

My mom all dressed up for the circus parade. Posted by Hello

My grandma is crazy-fun. I made her wear a clown nose for the Circus parade, and here it is. Posted by Hello

My dad, me, and my stepmom on vacation Posted by Hello


I just had the most pointless, disappointing day today. It just seemed that everything was out to get me. First I slept through my alarm, which meant I didn't get up until 11:30 and I was supposed to be into town to meet my grandma by 11:00. Then we were supposed to go to the movies, but it started to snow the the dickens ten minutes before we were supposed to leave, so we couldn't go (It wasn't supposed to snow until tomorrow). And then I went to try to sell some of my unused textbooks back to the campus bookstore, but they weren't buying any of the ones I had to sell. Then the snow stopped, which was good, but it decided it was going to stop twenty minutes after the start of the next show my grandma and I were going to go to. Then my mom didn't get home until eight. But my grandma and I went to Walmart (what was I supposed to do snowed into this tiny little town?) , and I bought myself a really big candle and the National Treasure soundtrack and watched the fish for a while (which always, inexplicably, makes me feel better. And buying candles makes me happy too.) , so I guess it wasn't a total loss. I just feel bad cause my grandma felt bad, which is stupid becuase she didn't make it snow/rain, and I'm restless all of a sudden. I'm tempted to move somewhere new just for the excitement value.

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

My Battle Cry, Veal, and Getting a little Political...

This is really wierd, but I realized that I never explained my blog title. I don't know why I feel the need to, but I've never let that stop me before so here goes.

Back when I was young and impressionable (freshman year of high school), I had an absolutely anal english teacher named...well, we'll just call her Miss A. Miss A had a habit of burying us under a mountain of homework just before a major event, such as an 8 pg paper on the night of homecoming, or a massive grammar assignment just before the most grueling Cross Country meet of the year. This time, she schmucked me...oh, did I say me? I meant the class... on the day of State forensics. Five pages, 100 notecards w/notes, and adequate documentation of sources, type-written 10 pt Times New Roman on the subject of her choice. Let this be the measure of it when I say that I got the most interesting topic (my real name's really close to the front of the alphabet, so I got to choose first): Rastafarianism.

I almost died.

I was born and raised a strict WELS lutheran, and while I've effectively left the synod, I'm still a very adamant Christian. And again, while I'm a very tolerant person, having to write about a religion that just seems so off base to me and having to be objective about it (that really killed me. I could have written an entire BOOK on what I thought about Rasta...) on a night when I should have been working on my gold medal speech for Madison...let's just say I wasn't pleased.

But life, or God, or both, has a distinct sense of humor. I took my headphones, my sources, my CD player (not even knowing what I had in) and my bad attitude to the computer lab and prepared to pull something out of my posterior as quickly as possible. I logged on to and clicked on the link Prominent Rastas. There, looking out at me from under dreads and a green, red, and yellow hat was none other than...Bob Marley. As I sat there with my mouth open, my CD player went on to the next song which just so happened to be No Woman No Cry by...well, who do you think? This man wrote my sure fire comfort music. It was then that I decided that I was trying to tackle this issue from the wrong side. Sure, it was ok to listen to Marley, but then I turned around and tried to take on what makes him so unique by coming from the perspective of a white supremist.

Two hours later, I had learned something beyond what I was required to research; All Humans are EXACTLY the same! Sure, the particulars may vary, but one thing remained the same. All living beings want is to be loved and cared for. Without it, they inevitably go bad in one way or another. So when you tell a child that he is no good, that he is nothing and he has nothing and will never be anything, that's what he'll be. He'll grow up with no prospects, no love, no hope, no chance. And odds are, his children will grow up the same way. And being told that you're doubly schmucked because of an accident of nature, ie your skin color or the shape of your eyes or the state/country you were born in, well, I could see how that would make you feel a little bitter. After all, coming from the Midwest, I should be a farmers daughter in overalls and know how to plant corn and what the yield for a good heifer calf is and my hair should be permanently tinted orange from all the cheese. OK, my hair is red, not orange, I don't like milk, the day I wear overalls will be the day you can shoot me because I've obviously lost my mind, and the only thing I know about calves is that they're cute, they've got a really long slimy tongue which they will lick you to death with because of the salt on your skin, and I won't eat veal cause it's cruel. So much for that stereotype.
We're all in the same boat here people. All this talk about right, left, blonde and blue, red and green, black, white, red, and purple polkadots is grasping at straws! We human beings are the most blessed creatures in the known universe, we have the capacity to be the most intelligent as well, but we don't use a fraction of the brain we've been given! My daddy always said that the only reason we humans are the dominant species on the planet is because we have opposable thumbs and dolphins don't. We can build things, and destroy them, we've developed sanitation, open heart surgery, electricity, the microchip and how to reach the moon but we haven't figured out why we have the need to kill each other. Or let our fellow humans go hungry when there's plenty of food for all of us. Or overeating when we know others are hungry and we know it's damaging our health. Or why we feel the need to assault innocent children.
The Christian viewpoint has an answer for this dilemma. They call it sin, the result of Lucifer (Satan, the devil)'s fall from grace and what happened after Adam and Eve disobeyed god. Call it sin, call it karma, call it yang, whatever, but whatever you call it, it's just the tip of the iceberg. Sin is just a touchpoint; the real decay, like a cancer, is eating us from the inside out. Like it or not, human beings have the ability to make choices. Human beings also, without fail, know the difference between wrong and right. It's written on their hearts at birth and slowly evolves from a child's knowledge that it's not ok to hit to an adult's knowledge that it is wrong to kill or steal or verbally harm another. That's not their right to do these things, and they know it.

Yet we do it anyway.

But this also brings me back to my blog title. The Rastas have a philosphy they call "Chant Down Babylon". To them it means driving out the white supremists that have kept them under thumb for Heaven knows how long by raising their voices against the injustices they've witnessed.
And I thought, why can't that apply to the greater world? I thought that if enough people in the world, people like me who have been pampered and priveleged by the standards of the greater populace, raised their my case, stubborn and ample... voices for those who can't, the helpless and the hopeless and those who are hated for no good reason (just because their Hispanic, or Indian, or white...or sick, or alone, or Southern or German or Democrat or Republican or Rasta or Christian...), I thought that maybe we could at least halt the cancer. It would be naive to think that we could stop it completely, because there must always be evil in the world to maintain the balance, but we could stop it in its tracks so that maybe we could have the satisfaction that just one was saved.
There is something out there that is snapping at our heels and trying to bring us down, people. Someone that wants us to fail, and it's not my beloved creator-God like some people would have us believe. "The forces of evil in the heavenly realms" says the Bible. But I'll be damned if I let them take me down quietly. I'm going to take this fight, and jam it down Satan's throat if at all possible. But I can't do it alone. More people have to step up. But with that many fights in his throat, maybe we can cut off Satan's air supply, what do you think? So, "Chant Down Babylon" 's become my battle cry, for lack of a better term. I guess maybe I'm stupid, and maybe I'm naive, but at least I'll be able to face my Lord at the end times without fear and without regrets.

"There will be an afterlife for me. Will there be one for you?" ~Imam, Chronicles of Riddick

Tuesday, January 18, 2005

I Think I'm Turning into A Werewolf....

Let me begin this by saying that I love my family. I love my home. I love being home (I wasn't for four years; boarding school).
What I don't love is being caged. And what I don't love even more, is being patronized.
I'm eighteen years old, people. I've lived away from home. I know what I want to be; I said I was going into family law, and I meant it. I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs, am not sexually active (single; I'm picky.), am respectful to my elders and relatively reliable. I hold a job, go to school, cook dinner on occasion. Granted, I'm stubborn to a fault and can be prickly around the full moon but all in all, I thought I was doing fairly well.
Why is it then, that my parents are looking at me like they pity me?
All of a sudden, my grandma is in tears because she thinks I won't make it in college and my mom's treating me like a time bomb. Her big concern is that she thinks I'm going to go do unspeakable acts with the first guy that'll have me. Gee mom, give me some credit, I've made it this long. She keeps comparing me to her. I just feel like shouting I"M NOT YOU!!!! She had no backbone when she was my age, and while I've been accused of many things, not having a backbone was never one of them. I'll stand up for myself; she never did. It's because I'm a problem solver I think; I try to solve people's problems, and I'll admit, I get involved with them when I do. You have to, don't you? How do you expect them to open up to you if you hold them at arm's length? I know my limitations, believe me, they were pressed almost to the edge in my last two years of high school. I'm not going to get in over my head. If I've learned one thing from being an only child, it's Anything can be gotten out of if you work at it hard enough. I love my mom. She's beautiful, and kind, and fun and I owe alot to her. But she's way off base here, and it's driving me up a wall. Speaking of driving me up a wall...
College: I'm just not on good standing with school. It's not that I can't do it. It's that it doesn't interest me. And my grades are not bad (I maintain a B/B- average mostly), it's just not going to win me any scholarships. Which is bad, I should really work to my abilities, but it's not earth shattering by any means. But for some reason, my lackluster performance in my first semester is cause for people to belive thatI'll be working at a minimum wage for the rest of my life. Absolutely not, I won't allow myself to. They who know me best should know that. And the person who's the most concerned (my grandma), is the one who's the most concerned. Once again, it's a fear that I'm going to turn into the concerned party. Grandma always laments the fact that she never went to college. Personally, I think she's doing just fine without it. She's got a nice home, lives comfortably with a few luxuries, and is one of the most common-sense wise people I know. Whatever. There's an easy answer to this problem of course- Get up off my donkey and just DO IT.
Yeah, I know. I'm getting there.
Someday, I'm just going to go outside, howl as loud as I can, and come back in and see what people say about me then. Ha to them.

Me and my dad. Unfortunately, I don't have a good one of my mom... Posted by Hello

Just me. The color's bad, and my hair has changed a dozen times since then (it's now red; much closer to my natural color). Posted by Hello

The last dance at my high school before I got OUT of there (hallelujah!), Posted by Hello

Monday, January 17, 2005


...Which means the beginning, a fitting title for a first entry I thought. Hmm, I've entered the realm of the bloggers.
I must be out of my mind.
I already have an Open Diary, what in the Dante would I need a Blog for? Well, here I am anyway, thanks to Medic who I'm sure is barking at my heels to be the first person to leave me a note. So if y'all wouldn't mind, could you just hold off leaving me notes until you see Medic's post? Ha, just kidding. The race'll do him good.
Well, two seconds into my blog and already I ran out of things to say. So I close with peace, love and Puppy dogs and to All a Good Night.